Me & Katie
The "Work of Byron Katie" is a simple yet profound method of self-inquiry. Use it to question your thoughts and beliefs whenever you experience stress or negativity. It can renew your mind and improve your relationships.
Ever feel like life's got you in a headlock, and you're just trying to catch your breath? Well, friend, let me introduce you to a little something called "The Work" – Byron Katie's secret sauce for shaking off those stressful feelings and finding your inner calm.
Picture this: you're sitting on your porch swing, sippin' on some lemonade, and pondering one of those situations that's been nagging at you like a pesky mosquito. Maybe it's the ol' chestnut, "He disrespected me," or perhaps it's the classic, "Mom loves her more."
Now, here comes the fun part: the four questions. First up, "Is it true?" Well, hold onto your hat, 'cause you might just realize that belief ain't as solid as it seems. Then comes, "Can you absolutely know that it's true?" Suddenly, that belief's starting to look more like a flimsy old tent in a stiff breeze.
But wait, there's more! We dive deeper with questions like, "How do you react when you believe that thought?" Suddenly, you're noticing how that belief's been pulling the strings in your life, like a puppeteer with a heavy hand. And finally, "Who would you be without the thought?" Well, slap my knee and call me surprised – turns out, without that belief, you're lighter than a balloon on a sunny day!
And just when you think you've seen it all, here comes the grand finale: the turnarounds! We take that old belief of yours and flip it like a pancake on a Sunday morning. "He disrepected me" becomes "I disrepected him," or even "I disrespected me," and “He didn't disrepect me.”Suddenly, you're seeing your world through a whole new set of spectacles, and doggone it if it ain't clearer than crystal!
And what's the result of all this hullabaloo, you might ask? Well, let me tell you, friend – it's like stepping out of a stuffy old room into the crisp mountain air. Suddenly, you're walking a little taller, smiling a little wider, and facing life's curveballs with the grace of a seasoned ballplayer.
So, next time life's got you in a headlock, remember Byron Katie's sage advice: do "The Work," and watch as your worries melt away like snow in the springtime. After all, as Katie herself would say, "Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you." So why not make it easier on yourself and give "The Work" a whirl? Trust me, you'll thank yourself later.
Cricket's Tips for filling in the Worksheet
The WORK consists of 2 parts:
A. Worksheet-- when filled out will result in 6 statements.
B. Inquiry-- ask yourself 4 questions, plus find some turnarounds.
Fill in the entire worksheet before doing inquiry.
Statement #1: Make it simple (embellish in the other statements.) What you write after the word “because” should be a 1-liner. Take only that part of the sentence to Inquiry.
Statements #2, 3, & 4: Let it all out—whatever you think about the person. When it’s time to do Inquiry, use the entire sentences, and ask all four questions and turnarounds.
Statement #2 is about what you really want;
Statement #3 is about arguing with reality when you believe anyone should be different than they are.
Statement #4 is about what you really need.
Statement 5: Make a list including negative and positive traits. During Inquiry I suggest you skip the four questions, and just turn these around to yourself. Find examples of ways each trait could apply to you.
Statement 6: Just do the 2 special turnarounds for this—“I am willing to”… and “I look forward to…” Most people have trouble with these at first. Remember that when the situation arises again, you have a wonderful opportunity to observe your own progress, and go deeper into Inquiry if your reaction is still stressful. This is a good thing.
When I argue with reality, I lose...(always.)
How do I know I'm arguing with reality? First I notice the feeling; if it's negative, like fear, anger, sorrow, etc. then I ask myself what am I thinking? Actually thoughts create the emotion, but the feeling is like an alarm clock that yells, “Wake up!” The thoughts that argue with reality are the “shoulds and shouldn'ts” like “He should___. She shouldn't___. They should___. I shouldn't.” See statement 3 on the worksheet. When I believe these thoughts, I cause my own unhappiness, and I may need to do a worksheet to get free from that.
I am reminded that “Is is, and all the rest is story.” There is one universal law—the law of cause and effect. If you believe in reincarnation, then you understand that karma is that same law at play in human lives. Rather than arguing with reality, and judging ourselves and others, we can balance our karma with forgiveness and love. Then, with a clear mind, we do what is ours to do to contribute toward a more just and peaceful world.
As Edgar Cayce in trance often counseled, “Do what your hands find to do today.”
This is a lot like the previous lesson (below.) I was so attached to the belief that I needed love and approval from someone else, it took me 3 years in a relationship with a guy who regularly found fault with me, to finish The Work that set me free. When I was critisized I cried, and then I did a worksheet. Each time I felt freer, and more aware of the low self-esteem I had lived with most of my life. I grew to love myself, to accept and approve of myself. That guy was there to teach me by pushing my buttons, which sent me into self-inquiry. I left him finally, with love in my heart.
ps: It wasn't long before I found myself with someone who never faults me, and we've lived together in harmony for 8 years so far. Smile.
I did a lot of worksheets before this lesson really sank in. It took a huge weight off my shoulders and allowed me to be more authentic in all my relationships. What you think of me is your business. What I think of you is my business. What I think of myself is my business. Also, there are 3 kinds of business: mine, yours, and God's. I try to stay in mine.
Lately I've been reading "Revelations", the last book of the Bible, and "Earth Changes", Edgar Cayce's explanations while in trance. Both books are helping me to understand what is happening in the world today. Some changes in the geography of the Earth are gradual, and natural, while others are caused by human disregard for our planet home. These are gathering strength and are obvious in weather extremes, famines, flooding, and disruptions among the animal and plant kingdoms. Also, there are greater extremes in politics, bad actors in power, confusion, fear, and destructive ideologies.
Everything boils down to cause and effect, the universal law. Along with all the "mess", there are enlightened causes, global determination to clean up the planet, wonderful advances toward humanitarian solutions and equality, etc. There was a song in the 60's, (can't remember who) that went "Last night I had the strangest dream, I ever dreamed before. Last night I dreamed the world all agreed to put an end to war."
A reminder from the Christ to each of us to "Love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself."
Who am I?
That is what I desperately wanted to know in 1972 as I was meditating on a sofa in a friend's home on Long Island, NY. Suddenly there was nothing but bright white light, everywhere, infinite. No "I", just the Light. Then I had a thought...and there was a "me" again. The thought was, "Do I have to come back?" But of course, with the thought I was back. But since then I've always known who I am (and who you are.) Still with plenty to learn and karma to balance out, but always knowing who we are.